Collection of top ten compilations regarding presented on David Letterman’s Late Show. Many are familiar with David Letterman’s amusing top 10 lists. On this platform, we provide a curated selection of top 10 lists themed around Christmas. Note that these top 10 compilations can be viewed live on the David Letterman Late Show aired on CBS.

TOP TEN ELF GRIEVANCES

10. Clothing bells make us an easy target at rest areas
9. Require dual identification to purchase alcohol
8. Santa’s union-busting enforcers eliminated someone last spring
7. Black elves dominate the gym
6. Recreational weekends in the Aleutians ruined by overzealous shore patrol
5. Outrageous North Pole 7-11 price increases
4. Worker’s compensation doesn’t cover “mistletoe lung”
3. The Colonel practically controls my life (Apologies, that’s an Elvis gripe)
2. Deceased elves simply discarded on the tundra
1. Santa only invites his preferred elves to the Jacuzzi

(The Late Show)

TOP TEN ELF FLIRTING LINES

10. I’m down here
9. Just because I wear bells on my shoes, doesn’t imply I’m unmanly
8. I used to be a garden ornament for Bon Jovi
7. I can remove you from the “naughty” list
6. I have certain desires that toy crafting can’t satisfy
5. I’m an enchanting being. Remove your bra.
4. No, I didn’t bake those cookies. You’re mistaking me for those geeks at Keebler
3. Give me a thimbleful of tequila, and I become a wild man
2. You’d look fantastic in a Raggedy Ann wig
1. I can consume my weight in mini sausages

(The Late Show)

TOP TEN HOLIDAY TIPS FROM GENERAL ELECTRIC

10. If a single bulb in your home fails, replace them all
9. Fluorescent tubes make excellent Star Wars swords for children
8. Use blow-dryers to keep food warm
7. Major companies shouldn’t commercialize this sacred season by distributing bonuses
6. Keeping multiple TVs and radios on fosters a sense of coziness
5. We’ve heard that Sylvania bulbs emit some form of toxic gas
4. Similar situation with Westinghouse
3. Run electric toothbrushes continuously to keep them warm
2. A G.E. industrial turbine makes a unique stocking stuffer
1. Dispose of warranties just like greeting cards

(The Late Show)

TOP TEN LEAST POPULAR CHRISTMAS TALES

10. Aahahl and the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling
9. The Sweatiest Angel
8. Santa’s Three-Day Eggnog Bender
7. Christmas Eve at the All-Male Cinema
6. A Holiday Visit from Salmonella
5. Ironman Mike Tyson Hurts Santa Really Badly
4. My Christmas Sauna with Burl Ives
3. Jack Frost Loses Feeling in His Extremities
2. I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus
1. The Teddy Bear Who Came to Life and Mauled a Store Clerk

(The Late Show)

TOP TEN DANGEROUS TOYS FOR CHRISTMAS

10. Junior Electrician Outlet Panel
9. Hasbro’s Slippery Steps
8. Black & Decker Silly Driller
7. Roof Hanger Paratrooper Outfit
6. Remco’s Pocket Hive
5. Traffic Tag
4. Will It Burn? From Parker Brothers
3. Chimney Explorer
2. My First Ferret Farm
1. Ooh – You’re Blue!, the Hold-Your-Breath Game

(The Late Show)

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