A Contemporary Spin on the 12 Days of Christmas

The tune “12 Days of Christmas” is an essential part of the Christmas season. It goes on and on with the extended pause in the middle for five golllllllllden rings, and then resumes the enumeration of items the true love purchased. Firstly, this compilation comes with a hefty cost, several labor-law considerations, and the necessity for a barn (those eight maids milking cows!), along with a dance space (where do the nine ladies dance and ten lords leap?), and likely some ear protection (eleven pipes and twelve drums could lead to prolonged hearing impairment). Since we adore our exquisite glass-blown, hand-painted decorations, we find it apt to introduce the 12 Days of Christmas ornament style. There are some contemporary modifications to this list and a few long shots, but we’ve crafted an enjoyable and festive collection nonetheless. 

On the first day, our beloved gives a partridge in a pear tree. We have a selection here. There’s a partridge in a pear ornament, and if you place it on your Christmas tree, then presto, you’ve got a partridge in a pear on your tree. There’s also a simple partridge ornament for those who prefer to keep things straightforward, or who like their birds without fruit. However, for a completely peculiar option, consider the avocado ornament for the vegetarian version of the list. It’s shaped like a pear with no trace of meat.

The second day highlights two turtle doves. For traditionalists, we offer a love bird ornament featuring two immaculate white doves. However, to make it more tropical, giving two turtles would change the theme of the gift. We provide a tortoise, a small turtle, and a green sea turtle, so you’ll need to select two of the three for your “turtle” dove interpretation of day two. 

Day three presents French hens, which sound exceptionally elegant. We wonder if these hens speak French and lay croissants. Gift All Season has a delightful hen ornament sitting on her cozy nest. To give her the French touch she deserves, we recommend the baguette and Eiffel Tower ornaments.

More birds appear on the list for day four, this time calling birds. Originally, this bird was referred to as a “colly” bird, an antiquated term meaning “black as coal.” Since the phrase “black bird” would disrupt the rhythm of the song, the lyric was eventually modified to “calling bird.” This could be seen as a bird’s lovely song, but we prefer to interpret it as a black bird making a phone call.

Day five is the line everyone eagerly anticipates and sings with enthusiasm. It’s probably the only item on the list that everyone would love to receive. Although, there is a possibility that originally the “ring” might have referred to a “ring-necked pheasant,” and then we’d be back to an extensive bird list. Either way, Gift All Season offers both the pheasant and the golden ring.

Day six features another bird, and if you get six geese, you might want to use the ear protection you’ll be requesting towards the end of the list. As the bird list expands, we introduce the Canadian geese ornament for day six.

With the bird list extending, and technically day seven is yet another bird, and a simple swan at that, here we take some creative liberty and interpret the swan as a swan dive. And truthfully, we don’t have a middle-aged-dad-swan-diving ornament, so instead, our artistic interpretation presents the seven-day swan as the scuba diver ornament.

Day eight features eight maids a’ milking. This could complicate things with labor laws and the fact that few people have an extra barn to accommodate the cows or the eight maids who appear as a generous, unexpected Christmas present. We assume they’re milking cows, but technically they could be milking goats or, as a famous movie once suggested, cats. 

It’s unclear if the maids invite another person and become the nine ladies dancing or if it’s a whole new group of nine ladies who love to groove and shake it. Our best representation of these nine ladies would be our elegant hula dancer ornament. Hopefully, there are sufficient grass skirts to share. 

Next in line, ten lords appear, leaping (or perhaps performing an Irish jig?). The song doesn’t explain the reason behind the leaping, so we have a few theories. Could they be leaping over a campfire, trying not to get burned? Did their team win the championship and they’re leaping for joy? Or maybe they’re so thrilled that the song is almost over and they’ve been waiting eagerly for their moment of glory.

The eleventh day introduces eleven pipers piping. We hope in today’s era they aren’t smoking pipes, as that could cause lung harm and potentially ignite a fire. We believe eleven bagpipes piping is a more accurate and fitting interpretation, and we have just the right ornament for it. 

The list starts with birds and finishes with a mix of large animals, dancing, leaping, and musical instruments. Ending on a loud note are twelve drummers drumming. We hope they handed out some ear protection before they began, and we hope their performance doesn’t extend too late into the night.